[ it should be an easy answer. yes. sure. probably. of course it did, because it always does. but the truth is he doesn't know. the truth is he had no plans to fuck hawkins fuller that night, because he hadn't fucked him since coming back from the dead — until then — because hawk fucked danny and then got himself murdered what apparently was seconds later, and embry is having a pathetically awful time getting over anything that's ever happened in the last several months.
the second time was worse. so much worse, because he thinks he forced hawk into it, his demented reenactment of the first time, and now? now he's not talking to hawk at all.
did it feel good? he looks at parisa with a vacant expression that only barely covers the depth of his mistakes behind one simple question. ]
I'm swearing off gay men.
[ much more compelling is unzipping parisa from her dress, letting it fall to the bathroom floor and then being faced with the sight of her. why she's standing there, unmoving, watching him in the nude, is a mystery for another day; he doesn't think about that. he is presently occupied with thoughts of how fucking hot she is, which is a thing technically impossible to forget when he's around her, and yet it's not always at the forefront of his mind. parisa has become a household staple, like a cat, like a sister, and so when he remembers that she's actually mind-numbingly gorgeous, it's like christmas all over again.
the scar is only the third or fourth thing he sees. there are, literally, so many more interesting things to look at. he doesn't hate parisa's scar like she does, because he has one of his own, and embry loves nothing more than someone else sharing in his misery. he hates being alone in anything, after all. ]
We'll ignore that you just diagnosed me, a perfectly stable and healthy young man, with ten different disorders. [ why focus on "should"? because they should. ] If you want to tie me up, Parisa, you can do that any time of the day. But for the record, you can't tie me up every single night. If once a month is the pattern, I still don't know what day of the month.
[ he scoffs. a reason he went after hawk and danny. as if he's fucking obsessed with them, or something. shut up. ]
It happens at night, after I fall asleep. I'm pretty sure I'm sleepwalking. Hawk said he didn't notice me acting any different, really. I was just quieter than usual, but I was responding. That's the fucked up part. People won't know that it's not me. [ he gestures toward her with his glass. ] And what about you? When you get the urge to go all cannibal again, are you gonna call me?
no subject
the second time was worse. so much worse, because he thinks he forced hawk into it, his demented reenactment of the first time, and now? now he's not talking to hawk at all.
did it feel good? he looks at parisa with a vacant expression that only barely covers the depth of his mistakes behind one simple question. ]
I'm swearing off gay men.
[ much more compelling is unzipping parisa from her dress, letting it fall to the bathroom floor and then being faced with the sight of her. why she's standing there, unmoving, watching him in the nude, is a mystery for another day; he doesn't think about that. he is presently occupied with thoughts of how fucking hot she is, which is a thing technically impossible to forget when he's around her, and yet it's not always at the forefront of his mind. parisa has become a household staple, like a cat, like a sister, and so when he remembers that she's actually mind-numbingly gorgeous, it's like christmas all over again.
the scar is only the third or fourth thing he sees. there are, literally, so many more interesting things to look at. he doesn't hate parisa's scar like she does, because he has one of his own, and embry loves nothing more than someone else sharing in his misery. he hates being alone in anything, after all. ]
We'll ignore that you just diagnosed me, a perfectly stable and healthy young man, with ten different disorders. [ why focus on "should"? because they should. ] If you want to tie me up, Parisa, you can do that any time of the day. But for the record, you can't tie me up every single night. If once a month is the pattern, I still don't know what day of the month.
[ he scoffs. a reason he went after hawk and danny. as if he's fucking obsessed with them, or something. shut up. ]
It happens at night, after I fall asleep. I'm pretty sure I'm sleepwalking. Hawk said he didn't notice me acting any different, really. I was just quieter than usual, but I was responding. That's the fucked up part. People won't know that it's not me. [ he gestures toward her with his glass. ] And what about you? When you get the urge to go all cannibal again, are you gonna call me?